Lets face it most of us from time to time are filled with self doubt. I don’t believe you would be human if you didn’t. Many of the greats who have enjoyed successful careers in actors, as writers, as inventors or business leaders will have experienced moments of self doubt.
When self doubt appears it can feel that our goals are as far away as ever. If left unchecked we start questioning our knowledge our abilities and everything we do. Its at this point we need to face our self doubts and expose them for what they are. If you want to achieve your goals and improve yourself you need to tame your self doubt. Not fight it.
This means paying attention to how you react to things, understanding the root cause of your insecurities and taking steps to address them.
Now I no longer tell myself “I will never be good enough” Instead I say “What can I do to become better” And take small steps to achieve what I want to achieve.
Its all about getting the right perspective and the following tips will help you to manage your self doubt:
1. Identify and ease your doubts
Learning to recognise when your self talk takes a turn for the worse is crucial. When you hear yourself saying “I can’t” or “I don’t know” or “What if” a warning sign should register.
Instead of telling yourself “I can’t do X” say “I can’t do X yet” But I am working on it.
Making this small change in your behaviour transforms a negative situation into an opportunity for growth. Its about giving yourself a chance.
2. Stop listening to people who bring you down
Some people are convinced that everything is impossible. They will try to convince you that your ideas, goals dreams are impossible to achieve. If you listen to them they will poison your mind into a state of hopelessness. Just because they have given up on their life does not mean you must give up on yours. Instead surround yourself with positive supportive people who can both inspire you and bring out the best in you. They can life you up when you feel down and help you see the bright side in the darkest hour.
3. Recall Your Successes
When you are down and things are tough we are more inclined to remember the bad instead of the good. So I suggest writing a list of all the successes you have had in life. Whether big or small. This will help you to gain some perspective on the situation. If you are struggling with this list can ask someone else you trust to tell you the great things you have done. It’s a great confidence booster.
4. Trust and love yourself
Most people spend more time being their own worst enemy and not their best friend. Would you normally say some of the things you say to yourself to a friend or relative. Would you not be there in their time of need. So start from now being your best friend and take care of your mental and physical well being. Lets face it you are going to spend the rest of your life with YOU so why not make it a wonderful relationship.
5. Give yourself permission to try and try again…
Self doubt never disappears but we just get better at dealing with it. Every time you find yourself out of your comfort zone. There it is ! But realise you do not have to fear it or resent it Just accept it as part of being human. Those thoughts of doubt are part of your past conditioning and are not your future.
Sure things go wrong. But the only way to ensure nothing goes wrong is to do nothing. You see whenever you reach out for something better, you are having an opportunity to grow and make a difference to your life. And isn’t that what life is all about. Failing to reach out is failing to live at all.
It would be great to hear from you and hear your comments and thoughts on this blog.